'Way Outward Bound' by Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden

The Goodies receive a recorded message from the Way Outward Bound School at Loch Jaw, who need help in finding children to enrol in their adventure courses. At £25 per child the Goodies readily agree, but their dismal failure to round up any willing kids forces them to disguise themselves as children and enrol themselves. After a welcome from the school’s Matron and her colleague, the overbearing Ex-Sergeant Major Ballcock, Tim, Bill and Graeme are subjected to a rigorous training programme of assault courses, weapons drill, missile training and nuclear strategy; knackered and stressed, the Goodies are further outraged when they find that the school is also training babies. When Tim, Bill and Graeme confront Ex-Sergeant Major Ballcock they learn that he is building up a private army – but the real leader is actually the Matron, who plans to use the combat-trained babies in an insane bid to conquer the world…

Bill Oddie (Bill), Tim Brooke-Taylor (Tim), Graeme Garden (Graeme), Bill Fraser (Ex-Sergeant Major Ballcock), Joan Sims (Matron), The Fred Tomlinson Singers (School Instructors)*
*(Uncredited)

Produced and Directed by Jim Franklin
Music by Bill Oddie and Michael Gibbs

TX (BBC 2):
11th March 1973

Notes:
*Featuring Tim, Bill and Graeme

*Alternative title: 'Outward Bounds'