'The Commonwealth Games' by Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden

The Goodies are summoned to the Houses of Parliament by the Minister of Sports, who needs their help in a matter of utmost national security. From his office in Big Ben’s Bell Tower, the Minister explains that the fate of the Commonwealth is at stake: the Commonwealth has shrunk so much that it is now just Great Britain and August Bank Holiday Island (in between Easter Island and Christmas Island), and whoever wins the Commonwealth Games - the most important political fixture of the year - will gain ownership of the entire Commonwealth. Tim, Bill and Graeme agree to ensure that the British team wins – only to discover that they are a useless bunch of elderly M.P.s. Deciding to take part themselves, Tim, Bill and Graeme begin a rigorous workout, before being flown by helicopter to August Bank Holiday Island; after receiving a most hostile welcome from the natives, the Goodies learn that the site of the Games is at the top of a seven thousand, five-hundred-and-twenty-one-metre-high mountain. The Games begin – but it soon looks like the Goodies’ best is not going to be good enough to win…

Spoof Advertisements: ‘Beanz Meanz Heanz’ and ‘Brand Z’ washing powder vs. ‘Square Deal Surge’

Bill Oddie (Bill), Tim Brooke-Taylor (Tim), Graeme Garden (Graeme), Reginald Marsh (Minister of Sports), Valerie Stanton (Miss Foster)

Produced and Directed by Jim Franklin
Music by Bill Oddie and Michael Gibbs

TX (BBC 2):
8th October 1971

Notes:
*Featuring Tim, Bill and Graeme

*Alternative title: 'Sporting Goodies'

*This episode only exists in the BBC archive as a black and white copy